diff --git a/test/content/index.test.js b/test/content/index.test.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..54ea054b64
--- /dev/null
+++ b/test/content/index.test.js
@@ -0,0 +1,154 @@
+import content from '../../website/common/script/content';
+
+describe('content index', () => {
+  let clock;
+
+  afterEach(() => {
+    if (clock) {
+      clock.restore();
+    }
+  });
+
+  it('Releases eggs when appropriate without needing restarting', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-06-20'));
+    const mayEggs = content.eggs;
+    expect(mayEggs.Chameleon).to.not.exist;
+    clock.restore();
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-07-20'));
+    const juneEggs = content.eggs;
+    expect(juneEggs.Chameleon).to.exist;
+    expect(Object.keys(mayEggs).length, '').to.equal(Object.keys(juneEggs).length - 1);
+  });
+
+  it('Releases hatching potions when appropriate without needing restarting', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-05-20'));
+    const mayHatchingPotions = content.hatchingPotions;
+    expect(mayHatchingPotions.Koi).to.not.exist;
+    clock.restore();
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-06-20'));
+    const juneHatchingPotions = content.hatchingPotions;
+    expect(juneHatchingPotions.Koi).to.exist;
+    expect(Object.keys(mayHatchingPotions).length, '').to.equal(Object.keys(juneHatchingPotions).length - 1);
+  });
+
+  it('Releases armoire gear when appropriate without needing restarting', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-06-20'));
+    const juneGear = content.gear.flat;
+    expect(juneGear.armor_armoire_corsairsCoatAndCape).to.not.exist;
+    clock.restore();
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-07-10'));
+    const julyGear = content.gear.flat;
+    expect(julyGear.armor_armoire_corsairsCoatAndCape).to.exist;
+    expect(Object.keys(juneGear).length, '').to.equal(Object.keys(julyGear).length - 3);
+  });
+
+  it('Releases pets gear when appropriate without needing restarting', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-06-20'));
+    const junePets = content.petInfo;
+    expect(junePets['Chameleon-Base']).to.not.exist;
+    clock.restore();
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-07-10'));
+    const julyPets = content.petInfo;
+    expect(julyPets['Chameleon-Base']).to.exist;
+    expect(Object.keys(junePets).length, '').to.equal(Object.keys(julyPets).length - 10);
+  });
+
+  it('Releases mounts gear when appropriate without needing restarting', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-06-20'));
+    const juneMounts = content.mountInfo;
+    expect(juneMounts['Chameleon-Base']).to.not.exist;
+    clock.restore();
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-07-10'));
+    const julyMounts = content.mountInfo;
+    expect(julyMounts['Chameleon-Base']).to.exist;
+    expect(Object.keys(juneMounts).length, '').to.equal(Object.keys(julyMounts).length - 10);
+  });
+
+  it('marks regular food as buyable and droppable without any events', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-06-20'));
+    const { food } = content;
+    Object.keys(food).forEach(key => {
+      if (key === 'Saddle') {
+        expect(food[key].canBuy(), `${key} canBuy`).to.be.true;
+        expect(food[key].canDrop, `${key} canDrop`).to.be.false;
+        return;
+      }
+      let expected = true;
+      if (key.startsWith('Cake_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      } else if (key.startsWith('Candy_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      } else if (key.startsWith('Pie_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      }
+      expect(food[key].canBuy(), `${key} canBuy`).to.equal(expected);
+      expect(food[key].canDrop, `${key} canDrop`).to.equal(expected);
+    });
+  });
+
+  it('marks candy as buyable and droppable during habitoween', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-10-31'));
+    const { food } = content;
+    Object.keys(food).forEach(key => {
+      if (key === 'Saddle') {
+        expect(food[key].canBuy(), `${key} canBuy`).to.be.true;
+        expect(food[key].canDrop, `${key} canDrop`).to.be.false;
+        return;
+      }
+      let expected = false;
+      if (key.startsWith('Cake_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      } else if (key.startsWith('Candy_')) {
+        expected = true;
+      } else if (key.startsWith('Pie_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      }
+      expect(food[key].canBuy(), `${key} canBuy`).to.equal(expected);
+      expect(food[key].canDrop, `${key} canDrop`).to.equal(expected);
+    });
+  });
+
+  it('marks cake as buyable and droppable during birthday', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-01-31'));
+    const { food } = content;
+    Object.keys(food).forEach(key => {
+      if (key === 'Saddle') {
+        expect(food[key].canBuy(), `${key} canBuy`).to.be.true;
+        expect(food[key].canDrop, `${key} canDrop`).to.be.false;
+        return;
+      }
+      let expected = false;
+      if (key.startsWith('Cake_')) {
+        expected = true;
+      } else if (key.startsWith('Candy_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      } else if (key.startsWith('Pie_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      }
+      expect(food[key].canBuy(), `${key} canBuy`).to.equal(expected);
+      expect(food[key].canDrop, `${key} canDrop`).to.equal(expected);
+    });
+  });
+
+  it('marks pie as buyable and droppable during pi day', () => {
+    clock = sinon.useFakeTimers(new Date('2024-03-14'));
+    const { food } = content;
+    Object.keys(food).forEach(key => {
+      if (key === 'Saddle') {
+        expect(food[key].canBuy(), `${key} canBuy`).to.be.true;
+        expect(food[key].canDrop, `${key} canDrop`).to.be.false;
+        return;
+      }
+      let expected = false;
+      if (key.startsWith('Cake_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      } else if (key.startsWith('Candy_')) {
+        expected = false;
+      } else if (key.startsWith('Pie_')) {
+        expected = true;
+      }
+      expect(food[key].canBuy(), `${key} canBuy`).to.equal(expected);
+      expect(food[key].canDrop, `${key} canDrop`).to.equal(expected);
+    });
+  });
+});
diff --git a/test/content/stable.test.js b/test/content/stable.test.js
index 218e340e78..b5950dbf12 100644
--- a/test/content/stable.test.js
+++ b/test/content/stable.test.js
@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ import {
 } from '../helpers/content.helper';
 import t from '../../website/common/script/content/translation';
 
-import * as stable from '../../website/common/script/content/stable';
+import stable from '../../website/common/script/content/stable';
 import eggs from '../../website/common/script/content/eggs';
 import potions from '../../website/common/script/content/hatching-potions';
 
diff --git a/website/client/src/components/hall/heroes.vue b/website/client/src/components/hall/heroes.vue
index 06a12b0384..25721640e9 100644
--- a/website/client/src/components/hall/heroes.vue
+++ b/website/client/src/components/hall/heroes.vue
@@ -320,7 +320,7 @@
 <script>
 import each from 'lodash/each';
 import * as quests from '@/../../common/script/content/quests';
-import { mountInfo, petInfo } from '@/../../common/script/content/stable';
+import stable from '@/../../common/script/content/stable';
 import content from '@/../../common/script/content';
 import gear from '@/../../common/script/content/gear';
 import styleHelper from '@/mixins/styleHelper';
@@ -330,6 +330,8 @@ import userLink from '../userLink';
 import PurchaseHistoryTable from '../ui/purchaseHistoryTable.vue';
 import { userStateMixin } from '../../mixins/userState';
 
+const { mountInfo, petInfo } = stable;
+
 export default {
   components: {
     userLink,
diff --git a/website/client/src/components/inventory/stable/mountRaisedModal.vue b/website/client/src/components/inventory/stable/mountRaisedModal.vue
index 86483baeac..6c552b6e54 100644
--- a/website/client/src/components/inventory/stable/mountRaisedModal.vue
+++ b/website/client/src/components/inventory/stable/mountRaisedModal.vue
@@ -80,7 +80,7 @@
 </style>
 
 <script>
-import { mountInfo } from '@/../../common/script/content/stable';
+import stable from '@/../../common/script/content/stable';
 import markdownDirective from '@/directives/markdown';
 
 export default {
@@ -105,7 +105,7 @@ export default {
   },
   methods: {
     openDialog (mountKey) {
-      this.mount = mountInfo[mountKey];
+      this.mount = stable.mountInfo[mountKey];
       this.$root.$emit('bv::show::modal', 'mount-raised-modal');
     },
     close () {
diff --git a/website/common/script/content/index.js b/website/common/script/content/index.js
index af344f4264..b3c12b2098 100644
--- a/website/common/script/content/index.js
+++ b/website/common/script/content/index.js
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ import achievements from './achievements';
 
 import eggs from './eggs';
 import hatchingPotions from './hatching-potions';
-import * as stable from './stable';
+import stable from './stable';
 import gear from './gear';
 import { quests, questsByLevel, userCanOwnQuestCategories } from './quests';
 
@@ -38,6 +38,7 @@ import { REPEATING_EVENTS, getRepeatingEvents } from './constants/events';
 import loginIncentives from './loginIncentives';
 
 import officialPinnedItems from './officialPinnedItems';
+import memoize from '../fns/datedMemoize';
 
 const api = {};
 
@@ -165,9 +166,15 @@ api.cardTypes = {
 
 api.special = api.spells.special;
 
-api.dropEggs = eggs.drops;
-api.questEggs = eggs.quests;
-api.eggs = eggs.all;
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'dropEggs', {
+  get () { return eggs.drops; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'questEggs', {
+  get () { return eggs.quests; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'eggs', {
+  get () { return eggs.all; },
+});
 
 api.timeTravelStable = {
   pets: {
@@ -186,298 +193,339 @@ api.timeTravelStable = {
   },
 };
 
-api.dropHatchingPotions = hatchingPotions.drops;
-api.premiumHatchingPotions = hatchingPotions.premium;
-api.wackyHatchingPotions = hatchingPotions.wacky;
-api.hatchingPotions = hatchingPotions.all;
-
-api.pets = stable.dropPets;
-api.premiumPets = stable.premiumPets;
-api.questPets = stable.questPets;
-api.specialPets = stable.specialPets;
-api.wackyPets = stable.wackyPets;
-api.petInfo = stable.petInfo;
-
-api.mounts = stable.dropMounts;
-api.questMounts = stable.questMounts;
-api.premiumMounts = stable.premiumMounts;
-api.specialMounts = stable.specialMounts;
-api.mountInfo = stable.mountInfo;
-
-api.food = {
-  Meat: {
-    text: t('foodMeat'),
-    textA: t('foodMeatA'),
-    textThe: t('foodMeatThe'),
-    target: 'Base',
-  },
-  Milk: {
-    text: t('foodMilk'),
-    textA: t('foodMilkA'),
-    textThe: t('foodMilkThe'),
-    target: 'White',
-  },
-  Potatoe: {
-    text: t('foodPotatoe'),
-    textA: t('foodPotatoeA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPotatoeThe'),
-    target: 'Desert',
-  },
-  Strawberry: {
-    text: t('foodStrawberry'),
-    textA: t('foodStrawberryA'),
-    textThe: t('foodStrawberryThe'),
-    target: 'Red',
-  },
-  Chocolate: {
-    text: t('foodChocolate'),
-    textA: t('foodChocolateA'),
-    textThe: t('foodChocolateThe'),
-    target: 'Shade',
-  },
-  Fish: {
-    text: t('foodFish'),
-    textA: t('foodFishA'),
-    textThe: t('foodFishThe'),
-    target: 'Skeleton',
-  },
-  RottenMeat: {
-    text: t('foodRottenMeat'),
-    textA: t('foodRottenMeatA'),
-    textThe: t('foodRottenMeatThe'),
-    target: 'Zombie',
-  },
-  CottonCandyPink: {
-    text: t('foodCottonCandyPink'),
-    textA: t('foodCottonCandyPinkA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCottonCandyPinkThe'),
-    target: 'CottonCandyPink',
-  },
-  CottonCandyBlue: {
-    text: t('foodCottonCandyBlue'),
-    textA: t('foodCottonCandyBlueA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCottonCandyBlueThe'),
-    target: 'CottonCandyBlue',
-  },
-  Honey: {
-    text: t('foodHoney'),
-    textA: t('foodHoneyA'),
-    textThe: t('foodHoneyThe'),
-    target: 'Golden',
-  },
-  Saddle: {
-    sellWarningNote: t('foodSaddleSellWarningNote'),
-    text: t('foodSaddleText'),
-    value: 5,
-    notes: t('foodSaddleNotes'),
-    canDrop: false,
-  },
-  /* eslint-disable camelcase */
-  Cake_Skeleton: {
-    text: t('foodCakeSkeleton'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeSkeletonA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeSkeletonThe'),
-    target: 'Skeleton',
-  },
-  Cake_Base: {
-    text: t('foodCakeBase'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeBaseA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeBaseThe'),
-    target: 'Base',
-  },
-  Cake_CottonCandyBlue: {
-    text: t('foodCakeCottonCandyBlue'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeCottonCandyBlueA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeCottonCandyBlueThe'),
-    target: 'CottonCandyBlue',
-  },
-  Cake_CottonCandyPink: {
-    text: t('foodCakeCottonCandyPink'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeCottonCandyPinkA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeCottonCandyPinkThe'),
-    target: 'CottonCandyPink',
-  },
-  Cake_Shade: {
-    text: t('foodCakeShade'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeShadeA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeShadeThe'),
-    target: 'Shade',
-  },
-  Cake_White: {
-    text: t('foodCakeWhite'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeWhiteA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeWhiteThe'),
-    target: 'White',
-  },
-  Cake_Golden: {
-    text: t('foodCakeGolden'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeGoldenA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeGoldenThe'),
-    target: 'Golden',
-  },
-  Cake_Zombie: {
-    text: t('foodCakeZombie'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeZombieA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeZombieThe'),
-    target: 'Zombie',
-  },
-  Cake_Desert: {
-    text: t('foodCakeDesert'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeDesertA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeDesertThe'),
-    target: 'Desert',
-  },
-  Cake_Red: {
-    text: t('foodCakeRed'),
-    textA: t('foodCakeRedA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCakeRedThe'),
-    target: 'Red',
-  },
-  Candy_Skeleton: {
-    text: t('foodCandySkeleton'),
-    textA: t('foodCandySkeletonA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandySkeletonThe'),
-    target: 'Skeleton',
-  },
-  Candy_Base: {
-    text: t('foodCandyBase'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyBaseA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyBaseThe'),
-    target: 'Base',
-  },
-  Candy_CottonCandyBlue: {
-    text: t('foodCandyCottonCandyBlue'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyCottonCandyBlueA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyCottonCandyBlueThe'),
-    target: 'CottonCandyBlue',
-  },
-  Candy_CottonCandyPink: {
-    text: t('foodCandyCottonCandyPink'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyCottonCandyPinkA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyCottonCandyPinkThe'),
-    target: 'CottonCandyPink',
-  },
-  Candy_Shade: {
-    text: t('foodCandyShade'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyShadeA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyShadeThe'),
-    target: 'Shade',
-  },
-  Candy_White: {
-    text: t('foodCandyWhite'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyWhiteA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyWhiteThe'),
-    target: 'White',
-  },
-  Candy_Golden: {
-    text: t('foodCandyGolden'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyGoldenA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyGoldenThe'),
-    target: 'Golden',
-  },
-  Candy_Zombie: {
-    text: t('foodCandyZombie'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyZombieA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyZombieThe'),
-    target: 'Zombie',
-  },
-  Candy_Desert: {
-    text: t('foodCandyDesert'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyDesertA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyDesertThe'),
-    target: 'Desert',
-  },
-  Candy_Red: {
-    text: t('foodCandyRed'),
-    textA: t('foodCandyRedA'),
-    textThe: t('foodCandyRedThe'),
-    target: 'Red',
-  },
-  Pie_Skeleton: {
-    text: t('foodPieSkeleton'),
-    textA: t('foodPieSkeletonA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieSkeletonThe'),
-    target: 'Skeleton',
-  },
-  Pie_Base: {
-    text: t('foodPieBase'),
-    textA: t('foodPieBaseA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieBaseThe'),
-    target: 'Base',
-  },
-  Pie_CottonCandyBlue: {
-    text: t('foodPieCottonCandyBlue'),
-    textA: t('foodPieCottonCandyBlueA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieCottonCandyBlueThe'),
-    target: 'CottonCandyBlue',
-  },
-  Pie_CottonCandyPink: {
-    text: t('foodPieCottonCandyPink'),
-    textA: t('foodPieCottonCandyPinkA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieCottonCandyPinkThe'),
-    target: 'CottonCandyPink',
-  },
-  Pie_Shade: {
-    text: t('foodPieShade'),
-    textA: t('foodPieShadeA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieShadeThe'),
-    target: 'Shade',
-  },
-  Pie_White: {
-    text: t('foodPieWhite'),
-    textA: t('foodPieWhiteA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieWhiteThe'),
-    target: 'White',
-  },
-  Pie_Golden: {
-    text: t('foodPieGolden'),
-    textA: t('foodPieGoldenA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieGoldenThe'),
-    target: 'Golden',
-  },
-  Pie_Zombie: {
-    text: t('foodPieZombie'),
-    textA: t('foodPieZombieA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieZombieThe'),
-    target: 'Zombie',
-  },
-  Pie_Desert: {
-    text: t('foodPieDesert'),
-    textA: t('foodPieDesertA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieDesertThe'),
-    target: 'Desert',
-  },
-  Pie_Red: {
-    text: t('foodPieRed'),
-    textA: t('foodPieRedA'),
-    textThe: t('foodPieRedThe'),
-    target: 'Red',
-  },
-  /* eslint-enable camelcase */
-};
-
-let FOOD_SEASON = 'Normal';
-getRepeatingEvents(moment()).forEach(event => {
-  if (event.foodSeason) {
-    FOOD_SEASON = event.foodSeason;
-  }
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'dropHatchingPotions', {
+  get () { return hatchingPotions.drops; },
 });
-each(api.food, (food, key) => {
-  let foodType = 'Normal';
-  if (key.startsWith('Cake_')) {
-    foodType = 'Cake';
-  } else if (key.startsWith('Candy_')) {
-    foodType = 'Candy';
-  } else if (key.startsWith('Pie_')) {
-    foodType = 'Pie';
-  }
-  defaults(food, {
-    value: 1,
-    key,
-    notes: t('foodNotes'),
-    canBuy: () => FOOD_SEASON === foodType,
-    canDrop: FOOD_SEASON === foodType,
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'premiumHatchingPotions', {
+  get () { return hatchingPotions.premium; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'wackyHatchingPotions', {
+  get () { return hatchingPotions.wacky; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'hatchingPotions', {
+  get () { return hatchingPotions.all; },
+});
+
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'dropPets', {
+  get () { return stable.dropPets; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'premiumPets', {
+  get () { return stable.premiumPets; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'questPets', {
+  get () { return stable.questPets; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'specialPets', {
+  get () { return stable.specialPets; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'wackyPets', {
+  get () { return stable.wackyPets; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'petInfo', {
+  get () { return stable.petInfo; },
+});
+
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'dropMounts', {
+  get () { return stable.dropMounts; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'premiumMounts', {
+  get () { return stable.premiumMounts; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'questMounts', {
+  get () { return stable.questMounts; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'specialMounts', {
+  get () { return stable.specialMounts; },
+});
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'mountInfo', {
+  get () { return stable.mountInfo; },
+});
+
+function buildFood() {
+  const food = {
+    Meat: {
+      text: t('foodMeat'),
+      textA: t('foodMeatA'),
+      textThe: t('foodMeatThe'),
+      target: 'Base',
+    },
+    Milk: {
+      text: t('foodMilk'),
+      textA: t('foodMilkA'),
+      textThe: t('foodMilkThe'),
+      target: 'White',
+    },
+    Potatoe: {
+      text: t('foodPotatoe'),
+      textA: t('foodPotatoeA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPotatoeThe'),
+      target: 'Desert',
+    },
+    Strawberry: {
+      text: t('foodStrawberry'),
+      textA: t('foodStrawberryA'),
+      textThe: t('foodStrawberryThe'),
+      target: 'Red',
+    },
+    Chocolate: {
+      text: t('foodChocolate'),
+      textA: t('foodChocolateA'),
+      textThe: t('foodChocolateThe'),
+      target: 'Shade',
+    },
+    Fish: {
+      text: t('foodFish'),
+      textA: t('foodFishA'),
+      textThe: t('foodFishThe'),
+      target: 'Skeleton',
+    },
+    RottenMeat: {
+      text: t('foodRottenMeat'),
+      textA: t('foodRottenMeatA'),
+      textThe: t('foodRottenMeatThe'),
+      target: 'Zombie',
+    },
+    CottonCandyPink: {
+      text: t('foodCottonCandyPink'),
+      textA: t('foodCottonCandyPinkA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCottonCandyPinkThe'),
+      target: 'CottonCandyPink',
+    },
+    CottonCandyBlue: {
+      text: t('foodCottonCandyBlue'),
+      textA: t('foodCottonCandyBlueA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCottonCandyBlueThe'),
+      target: 'CottonCandyBlue',
+    },
+    Honey: {
+      text: t('foodHoney'),
+      textA: t('foodHoneyA'),
+      textThe: t('foodHoneyThe'),
+      target: 'Golden',
+    },
+    Saddle: {
+      sellWarningNote: t('foodSaddleSellWarningNote'),
+      text: t('foodSaddleText'),
+      value: 5,
+      notes: t('foodSaddleNotes'),
+      canBuy: () => true,
+      canDrop: false,
+    },
+    /* eslint-disable camelcase */
+    Cake_Skeleton: {
+      text: t('foodCakeSkeleton'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeSkeletonA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeSkeletonThe'),
+      target: 'Skeleton',
+    },
+    Cake_Base: {
+      text: t('foodCakeBase'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeBaseA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeBaseThe'),
+      target: 'Base',
+    },
+    Cake_CottonCandyBlue: {
+      text: t('foodCakeCottonCandyBlue'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeCottonCandyBlueA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeCottonCandyBlueThe'),
+      target: 'CottonCandyBlue',
+    },
+    Cake_CottonCandyPink: {
+      text: t('foodCakeCottonCandyPink'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeCottonCandyPinkA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeCottonCandyPinkThe'),
+      target: 'CottonCandyPink',
+    },
+    Cake_Shade: {
+      text: t('foodCakeShade'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeShadeA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeShadeThe'),
+      target: 'Shade',
+    },
+    Cake_White: {
+      text: t('foodCakeWhite'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeWhiteA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeWhiteThe'),
+      target: 'White',
+    },
+    Cake_Golden: {
+      text: t('foodCakeGolden'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeGoldenA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeGoldenThe'),
+      target: 'Golden',
+    },
+    Cake_Zombie: {
+      text: t('foodCakeZombie'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeZombieA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeZombieThe'),
+      target: 'Zombie',
+    },
+    Cake_Desert: {
+      text: t('foodCakeDesert'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeDesertA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeDesertThe'),
+      target: 'Desert',
+    },
+    Cake_Red: {
+      text: t('foodCakeRed'),
+      textA: t('foodCakeRedA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCakeRedThe'),
+      target: 'Red',
+    },
+    Candy_Skeleton: {
+      text: t('foodCandySkeleton'),
+      textA: t('foodCandySkeletonA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandySkeletonThe'),
+      target: 'Skeleton',
+    },
+    Candy_Base: {
+      text: t('foodCandyBase'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyBaseA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyBaseThe'),
+      target: 'Base',
+    },
+    Candy_CottonCandyBlue: {
+      text: t('foodCandyCottonCandyBlue'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyCottonCandyBlueA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyCottonCandyBlueThe'),
+      target: 'CottonCandyBlue',
+    },
+    Candy_CottonCandyPink: {
+      text: t('foodCandyCottonCandyPink'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyCottonCandyPinkA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyCottonCandyPinkThe'),
+      target: 'CottonCandyPink',
+    },
+    Candy_Shade: {
+      text: t('foodCandyShade'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyShadeA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyShadeThe'),
+      target: 'Shade',
+    },
+    Candy_White: {
+      text: t('foodCandyWhite'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyWhiteA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyWhiteThe'),
+      target: 'White',
+    },
+    Candy_Golden: {
+      text: t('foodCandyGolden'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyGoldenA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyGoldenThe'),
+      target: 'Golden',
+    },
+    Candy_Zombie: {
+      text: t('foodCandyZombie'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyZombieA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyZombieThe'),
+      target: 'Zombie',
+    },
+    Candy_Desert: {
+      text: t('foodCandyDesert'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyDesertA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyDesertThe'),
+      target: 'Desert',
+    },
+    Candy_Red: {
+      text: t('foodCandyRed'),
+      textA: t('foodCandyRedA'),
+      textThe: t('foodCandyRedThe'),
+      target: 'Red',
+    },
+    Pie_Skeleton: {
+      text: t('foodPieSkeleton'),
+      textA: t('foodPieSkeletonA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieSkeletonThe'),
+      target: 'Skeleton',
+    },
+    Pie_Base: {
+      text: t('foodPieBase'),
+      textA: t('foodPieBaseA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieBaseThe'),
+      target: 'Base',
+    },
+    Pie_CottonCandyBlue: {
+      text: t('foodPieCottonCandyBlue'),
+      textA: t('foodPieCottonCandyBlueA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieCottonCandyBlueThe'),
+      target: 'CottonCandyBlue',
+    },
+    Pie_CottonCandyPink: {
+      text: t('foodPieCottonCandyPink'),
+      textA: t('foodPieCottonCandyPinkA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieCottonCandyPinkThe'),
+      target: 'CottonCandyPink',
+    },
+    Pie_Shade: {
+      text: t('foodPieShade'),
+      textA: t('foodPieShadeA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieShadeThe'),
+      target: 'Shade',
+    },
+    Pie_White: {
+      text: t('foodPieWhite'),
+      textA: t('foodPieWhiteA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieWhiteThe'),
+      target: 'White',
+    },
+    Pie_Golden: {
+      text: t('foodPieGolden'),
+      textA: t('foodPieGoldenA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieGoldenThe'),
+      target: 'Golden',
+    },
+    Pie_Zombie: {
+      text: t('foodPieZombie'),
+      textA: t('foodPieZombieA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieZombieThe'),
+      target: 'Zombie',
+    },
+    Pie_Desert: {
+      text: t('foodPieDesert'),
+      textA: t('foodPieDesertA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieDesertThe'),
+      target: 'Desert',
+    },
+    Pie_Red: {
+      text: t('foodPieRed'),
+      textA: t('foodPieRedA'),
+      textThe: t('foodPieRedThe'),
+      target: 'Red',
+    },
+    /* eslint-enable camelcase */
+  };
+
+  let FOOD_SEASON = 'Normal';
+  getRepeatingEvents(moment()).forEach(event => {
+    if (event.foodSeason) {
+      FOOD_SEASON = event.foodSeason;
+    }
   });
+  each(food, (foodItem, key) => {
+    let foodType = 'Normal';
+    if (key.startsWith('Cake_')) {
+      foodType = 'Cake';
+    } else if (key.startsWith('Candy_')) {
+      foodType = 'Candy';
+    } else if (key.startsWith('Pie_')) {
+      foodType = 'Pie';
+    }
+    defaults(foodItem, {
+      value: 1,
+      key,
+      notes: t('foodNotes'),
+      canBuy: () => FOOD_SEASON === foodType,
+      canDrop: FOOD_SEASON === foodType,
+    });
+  });
+
+  return food;
+}
+
+const memoizedBuildFood = memoize(buildFood);
+
+Object.defineProperty(api, 'food', {
+  get () { return memoizedBuildFood(); },
 });
 
 api.appearances = appearances;
diff --git a/website/common/script/content/stable.js b/website/common/script/content/stable.js
index 1f08886df3..7a0bf27803 100644
--- a/website/common/script/content/stable.js
+++ b/website/common/script/content/stable.js
@@ -4,11 +4,9 @@ import { EVENTS } from './constants/events';
 import allEggs from './eggs';
 import allPotions from './hatching-potions';
 import t from './translation';
+import memoize from '../fns/datedMemoize';
 
-const petInfo = {};
-const mountInfo = {};
-
-function constructSet (type, eggs, potions, hasMounts = true) {
+function constructSet (type, eggs, potions, petInfo, mountInfo, hasMounts = true) {
   const pets = {};
   const mounts = {};
 
@@ -123,11 +121,6 @@ const canFindSpecial = {
   },
 };
 
-const [dropPets, dropMounts] = constructSet('drop', allEggs.drops, allPotions.drops);
-const [premiumPets, premiumMounts] = constructSet('premium', allEggs.drops, allPotions.premium);
-const [questPets, questMounts] = constructSet('quest', allEggs.quests, allPotions.drops);
-const wackyPets = constructSet('wacky', allEggs.drops, allPotions.wacky, false);
-
 const specialPets = {
   'Wolf-Veteran': 'veteranWolf',
   'Wolf-Cerberus': 'cerberusPup',
@@ -178,44 +171,88 @@ const specialMounts = {
   'JackOLantern-RoyalPurple': 'royalPurpleJackolantern',
 };
 
-each(specialPets, (translationString, key) => {
-  petInfo[key] = {
-    key,
-    type: 'special',
-    text: t(translationString),
-    canFind: canFindSpecial.pets[key],
-  };
-});
+function buildInfo () {
+  const petInfo = {};
+  const mountInfo = {};
 
-Object.assign(petInfo['Gryphatrice-Jubilant'], {
-  canBuy () {
-    return moment().isBetween(EVENTS.birthday10.start, EVENTS.birthday10.end);
+  const [dropPets, dropMounts] = constructSet('drop', allEggs.drops, allPotions.drops, petInfo, mountInfo);
+  const [premiumPets, premiumMounts] = constructSet('premium', allEggs.drops, allPotions.premium, petInfo, mountInfo);
+  const [questPets, questMounts] = constructSet('quest', allEggs.quests, allPotions.drops, petInfo, mountInfo);
+  const wackyPets = constructSet('wacky', allEggs.drops, allPotions.wacky, petInfo, mountInfo, false);
+
+  each(specialPets, (translationString, key) => {
+    petInfo[key] = {
+      key,
+      type: 'special',
+      text: t(translationString),
+      canFind: canFindSpecial.pets[key],
+    };
+  });
+
+  Object.assign(petInfo['Gryphatrice-Jubilant'], {
+    canBuy () {
+      return moment().isBetween(EVENTS.birthday10.start, EVENTS.birthday10.end);
+    },
+    currency: 'gems',
+    event: 'birthday10',
+    value: 60,
+    purchaseType: 'pets',
+  });
+
+  each(specialMounts, (translationString, key) => {
+    mountInfo[key] = {
+      key,
+      type: 'special',
+      text: t(translationString),
+      canFind: canFindSpecial.mounts[key],
+    };
+  });
+
+  return {
+    dropPets,
+    premiumPets,
+    questPets,
+    wackyPets,
+    dropMounts,
+    questMounts,
+    premiumMounts,
+    specialPets,
+    specialMounts,
+    petInfo,
+    mountInfo,
+  };
+}
+
+const memoizedBuildInfo = memoize(buildInfo);
+
+export default {
+  get dropPets () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().dropPets;
+  },
+  get premiumPets () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().premiumPets;
+  },
+  get questPets () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().questPets;
+  },
+  get wackyPets () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().wackyPets;
+  },
+  get dropMounts () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().dropMounts;
+  },
+  get questMounts () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().questMounts;
+  },
+  get premiumMounts () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().premiumMounts;
+  },
+  get petInfo () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().petInfo;
+  },
+  get mountInfo () {
+    return memoizedBuildInfo().mountInfo;
   },
-  currency: 'gems',
-  event: 'birthday10',
-  value: 60,
-  purchaseType: 'pets',
-});
-
-each(specialMounts, (translationString, key) => {
-  mountInfo[key] = {
-    key,
-    type: 'special',
-    text: t(translationString),
-    canFind: canFindSpecial.mounts[key],
-  };
-});
-
-export {
-  dropPets,
-  premiumPets,
-  questPets,
-  wackyPets,
-  dropMounts,
-  questMounts,
-  premiumMounts,
   specialPets,
   specialMounts,
-  petInfo,
-  mountInfo,
 };